Bullying is alive and well!

My 12 year old son has been bullied since kindergarten. Guess who started it and made it okay for this to happen? His kindergarten teacher.  It took a bit but we were able to document what she was doing.  She was doing it to other kids as well, and she was doing things that were very much against school policy.  We had to go up the chain of command right up to the school board.  Yes we got her removed but the damage was done. Over the last 7 years the bullying has gotten so bad that his life was hell at school. The level of violence directed at him is difficult to understand, especially considering the so called zero tolerance.

In grade one he was being picked on by kids in grade three. In the school "playground" they would gang up on him, pick him up by his arms and legs and slam him into the cement. He would come home with scrapes and bruises. We confronted the school about it, it was a small play area and the teachers would just ignore what was going on.  But when we confronted them with what Nick was telling us they admitted it was happening.   We told him he could defend himself, that even though the school had a no tolerance policy he could do what he needed to to stop the boys and get away.

We got a call from the school after the first break. It turns out Nick decided offence was better than defence. The way the teachers described it was, "As soon as the bell went Nick ran out of the classroom, out to the play area. He ran up to the group of 6 grade 3's that would hurt him every day. He took all 6 down to the ground before the teachers could stop him.”  They were trying to suspend our grade 1 for taking out 6 grade 3 boys. The boys who hurt Nic never got in trouble for what they did, and the school knew about it because when we confronted the school they knew who was hurting Nic. So who did they go after, the victim who decided to stop being the victim.

For the last few years one kid has made it is goal in life to torment my son. He is a popular child and got all his "friends" to pick on Nick as well. The bully made sure everyone understood that if someone was my son’s friend they would be bullied as well.  That my son could not play in any games, or even play at the park by the school.  My son hated going to school. It was reported to the school consistently.  It was so bad that the school told the bully that if it continued they would suspend the bully.  All that happened was Nic got bulled more buy this kid’s friends.  Nick was told that if he told anyone about the bullying it would get worse.  He was afraid every day. 

The bully’s dad actually encouraged his son to hurt ours and would get mad if he did not actually do anything to Nic.  It was so bad we had to call the police on the Dad twice because he threatened to hurt me.  He would walk up behind me on school grounds, lean over and whisper threats that no one else could hear.  He would stand outside our house and look into our front window.  So the dad was told that if he did not stop he would be charged with stalking.  The result, the violence to my son went up.

This summer the kid and his friends made a point of hanging out at the park behind my house and picking on my son every time he went outside. At one point my son asked for a pocket knife and bugged us all summer for one. What we did not know was that he wanted it for protection. The boy who picked on him had one and told him he was going to "Shank" Nic. He spent all summer trying to stay in the house because he thought this boy would kill him. It all came out on the first day of school. We pulled him out of school. He spent 3 weeks out of school as we arranged for a new school that we have to drive him to because there is no transportation when you put your kid in an out of catchment school.

He loves his new school, but is so used to being picked on he is having a bit of a problem adjusting. It feels uncomfortable for him not to have to constantly watch his back. It is uncomfortable that kids want to play with him, and talk with him and be friends instead of hurting him. This is in Canada and there is a real issue with victims being punished for what others do all the time.

Star Wars the Old Republic Guild Turns to Cyber bullying

 

For almost a year a father and his 9 year old son played on the Star Wars the Old Republic with a great guild.  A few weeks before the new Star Wars the Old Republic expansion started the guild turned nasty.  Suddenly what used to be a fun MMORPG became an ordeal of cyber bulling.

It started in sly comments.  It quickly moved up to nasty in game messages, anonymous posting full of swear words, insults and comments like “you are this and this and should quite the game” but not in so nice words.  Insert any combination of swear words, insults with thinly veiled threats and you get the idea. 

The last straw was when an anonymous posting went on the guild page attacking four players, Suddenly what was just annoying and somewhat childish behaviour became a full out attack.  The guild leader let the posting stay up on the guild page.  This showed that she supported the cyber bulling behaviour of one guild member.  Please note that the bully did not have the guts to put their name on their poison pen posting.  As a result all four members decided independently that they did not want to play in a guild where they were expected to put up with someone treating them like crap.

Not one of the players being cyber bullied had done anything to earn the abuse.  Two were new players, who did not have much experience.  They were in the process of learning the game and building up their levels.  One was a father, with a new born, who played when he could but put his family first.  The fourth was in the US military serving overseas.  He is fighting for his country, with all his time scheduled for him.  Not to mention putting his life on the line every day.  Why would any of these people want to deal with abuse every time they logged onto Star Wars the Old Republic?

Now it is one thing to have someone be nasty on Star Wars the Old Republic, you simply block them.  It is something different to be cyber bullied by someone in your own guild.  Especially when the cyber bully hides who they are, it taints the whole guild.  You don’t know who is doing it.  It is like getting nasty letters in your locker at high school, the bully wants to make their life hell but is not “man” enough to put their name on it.

Oh, and Mr. Anonymous was not so anonymous after all.  The person was creating alternative characters not in the guild so they could cyber bully “anonymously”.  But all four people figured out who it was when they compared notes. 

The cyber bully had recently joined the guild.  He was a new “friend” of the guild leader and was given extra special treatment at the expense of the other guild members.  He was given an officers position right away, even though everyone else had to work their way up the guild and prove themselves.  He was going after the guild members he felt threatened by. 

The ex-guild members felt betrayed by their guild leader, that she would allow such abusive behaviour.  None of the attacked players engage the bully.  It was not worth their time.  They play Star Wars the Old Republic to have fun. 

The funny part is that the cyber bully did not even notice they had left the guild.  He stepped up the attacks after they had already left.  He started posting anonymous abusive messages in the guilds message of the day for everyone to see.  He called them names, put them down and kept saying they should be kicked out of the guild.

At first the guild leader was upset that the guild members quite and asked them back.  That changed within a day.  Suddenly she was being abusive to them as well.  Somehow they were in the wrong for taking offence to the extremely abusive attacks.  She expected them to just put up with it.

Just to be safe the Father decided to log onto his 9 year old sons account and pull him out of the guild.  What did he find, in retaliation for the father leaving the guild leader kicked his son out.  The cyber bully sent the 9 year old a very abusive, bulling message along the same lines as what he had posted to the other guild members.  It was full of swear words and was just plain nasty to say to anyone, let alone a 9 year old.

What was the point of cyber bulling a child?  The kid was already kicked out of the guild.  Why send a child you don’t know an abusive message?  Simple, because he could.  He knew his guild leader will support his cyber bullying of long standing and new guild members.  Why would she have an issue with him attacking a child in the same manner?  He was so confident that he did not even bother to do it anonymously!  This just confirmed the suspicions about who was doing it.

Well he was right.  When this was brought to the guild leader’s attention her response was, she was the one who kicked the child out of the guild and what was the problem with the messages.  After all it was all just a joke.  Extreme abusive cyber bullying for two weeks a joke!  Right.  Who is she kidding?  Most people will not accept this treatment any time, so why should anyone accept it on a MMORPG. 

 

With the number of kids killing themselves over cyber bulling she still thinks it’s ok for her new friend to do this to a child who has never done anything to anyone.  I guess she is not the good person people thought she was.  Who wants to be in a guild that you have to put up with abuse to play in?  What gets me the most though is, how could anyone think it is ok for an adult to cyber bully a child!  It is not ok for anyone to cyber bully a child.