9/11 the aftershock still going 10 years later

I knew that the 10th year anniversary would bring back memories and sadness over the senseless loss of so many lives. I did not expect it to affect me so strongly. I did not lose anyone, and I have no personal connection to the tragic event. Yet I started crying within moments of turning on the TV to watch the memorial.

I remember driving my car on the way to work, stuck in traffic, when the news about the first plane crash was announced. I did not care about being late or anything at that point. I was just shocked. When I got into work no one was working. People were on the phones calling friends and family, checking emails, listening online or to radios. A few had access to TV’s. The news took over the day. I think we may have even been sent home early that day. It’s is all just a blur. No one got work done that day.

The lady who worked beside me was hit the hardest in our area. Her husband was at a conference in the States with an insurance company. That company had their offices in the Twin Towers. Fortunately the conference was in another location. Unfortunately only the big wigs from the company were at the conference. They had an entire floor, above where the plane hit. My understanding is that everyone at work that day died. People her husband knew, worked with, talked with were just gone. It was hard on him, and her. They were on the phone a lot that day, even though it was long distance and she was at work. They were scared. He was stuck in the US, with people flying planes into buildings, who know what else was going to happen.

Even though I live in Canada 9/11 changed my life. That day I called my long distance boyfriend and said let’s move in together. I was scared, and who knew what was going to happen. He moved from one end of Canada, BC, to Ontario within 10 days. We have been together ever since, and have two wonderful children. I don’t think that would have ever happened if 9/11 hadn’t. I always said I would never get married or have kids. 9/11 changed that for me.

I think the hardest part of the 10th year anniversary of 9/11 was explaining it to my children. I cried as I told them about how police and rescue workers went into the buildings to rescue anyone they could, knowing they may not come back out. That took courage. I explained how many of the police and rescue workers died that day. It was hard for them to understand the whole thing. Why would someone fly a plane into a building? Why did they want to kill people?

We had to turn the TV off and just have some family time. We did not turn it back on until the kids went to bed. The horrible images were just too much to put them through. One day they will be old enough to learn more about it, but not with Mommy crying as she tries to explain it. 9/11 is a life changer. I don’t want my kids to lose what innocents they have, the trust that all is good in the world and nothing bad is going to happen. That will happen soon enough as they got older.

Even now I feel sad, and cry when I think of all the lives changed in a bad way that day ten years ago.

I like remembering a couple of stories about that day, small simple miracles in a way. One person was running late but stopped for a coffee anyway. Another person called in sick. One person missed the bus/subway. These small things saved their lives. There are many stories like this, but not enough, not nearly enough.

May the people who died that day, and later from the chemicals in the air, may they have peace!

For the people who did this, may you wake up one day and understand that this was wrong! I tell my kids all the time, temper tantrums don’t get you what you want, no matter how big of one you throw. To me 9/11 was just another type of temper tantrum. Someone did not get their way so they did what they could to destroy lives. You know what, they still did not get their way!

Food for thought, Pedophiles that don’t get caught

I received a very disturbing comment today on my blog posting

Lady Talks a Lot: Pedophiles wives are victims. 

Anonymous said...


We are here, we will always be here and the longer and harder you fight....the stronger we become. We are law makers, we are law enforcement, we are the teachers in your schools, the ones who bag your groceries, the ones who service your AC units on hot days, the ones who drop off your mail, we work at Disney Land and none of us look alike. And the cold reality of it....not all Pedophiles are Sex offenders. Most of us never get caught.






Food for thought....



I think that it is true; most of them are not caught. Pedophiles work very hard at fitting in and hiding what they are and what they do. Anyone could be a pedophile. I know that there are several “poor” pedophiles in my area, ones that got caught and are registered as sex offenders. This comment just makes me wonder how many “good” (not caught) pedophiles there are in the same area.

I think that pedophiles pray on the weak and lonely. We need to make our children feel proud, loved and welcome so they can be strong. We need to be there for our children so they are not lonely. Our job is to let our children be children, not victims. We may not be able to find and stop pedophiles but we can try to make it more difficult for them to succeed.

Children need to be heard, believed and trusted. If a child said someone is hurting them or touching them we need listen. The real problem is that the person doing it may not be the person the child say’s is doing it. Many children are scared to tell the truth because they think the person will hurt them or people they love. Sometimes it is the very people who they should be protected by are the ones hurting them. As adults it is our responsibility to listen to the children, even if they are not our kids. Get the police involved, they are often able to get to the truth even when we cannot.

The real crime is that too many people turn a blind eye or deaf ear to those in need.

I received an email today from a local event in Hamilton, Pagan Pride Day. It is a fun event held in Hamilton every September. Every year they collect food for FoodShare, and it is given to the different food banks in the area. The email touched me and I want to share it with others. I hope it touches everyone else as well. Please give to your local food bank, the need is real and the need is now. I know that kids in my area are going hungry every day, some will be in my children’s classes. I cannot help them all, but maybe all of us can help them by giving what we can to the food bank.


Pagan Pride Day is 1 week away (Sept 10th) and I'm asking you to keep in mind the FoodShare collection we sponsor every year.


Every year at this time the 'back to school' bill takes its toll on the average family ... supplies, clothes, shoes and all of the miscellaneous things needed to start off another school year. Unfortunately for many, sometimes the cost of those supplies come off of the dinner table, no matter how hard you try to budget and the truth of the matter is that the schools do watch for kids without lunches and they will phone home to inquire why the child has no food ... I can't think of anything more heart wrenching then having to admit you have nothing to send with that child and that the only real meal of the day is supper.


Last year the Pagan Harvest Festival & the Wiccan Church of Canada helped raise just under 300 lbs of food for the day. We are sincerely hoping to crack that 300 mark with your help and support. Alot of the grocery stores are having some really great sales right now, $5 can make a huge difference. Please be aware as well that all cash donations that go into the collection cauldron go directly to Hamilton FoodShare where they put it to good use by turning every $1 into $5 worth of food stuff.
Investing in a child is one of the best investments you can make, it’s about building a better future :)


Thank you for your support and generousity ... it is deeply appreciated by so many.

Time for school again

I don’t know if I am happy or sad that summer is over. We did not do any of the things we planned. Instead we spent the first part of the summer getting over really bad sunburns. We never went back to the beach this summer. We planned to go almost every weekend. It took us a month to heal from the burn we got from one day in the sun. We over did it, and our summer paid for it. We thought we would go places and do things this year. Instead we struggled to pay our bills and did very little.

Now school is about to start, in a couple of days, and we look back at all we did not do. It makes me sad that we did not do much. Lucky for the kids they went to summer day camp and did trips every week. They did lots and did not really notice what we did not do as a family. I think they were just glad to be home and relax on the weekends. We are actually giving them the last week of the summer off of summer camp. They like spending time with us, but we want to make sure they have other children to play with.

Now they are going to be going to school, a difficult thing for our son, and a fun time for our daughter. I am not sure I am ready for the struggles I know are to come. The demand of homework alone is a battle I don’t wish to take on. I know that every day I will have to fight with my son to get him to do his homework. Often he fights me over his homework. He hates school work and homework even more.

He gets picked on by other students and does not like going to school. School work is difficult for him. He has ADHD and an unnamed language based learning disability. We think he may have dyslexia. Overall school is not a fun time for him.

My daughter on the other hand has fun at school. She is a typical student having good and bad days. She gets along with others but tends to be a follower, not a leader. She will be ok with the other kids. So far she seems to be an average student. I am sure she will be fine as long as we work with her, and make sure she does her homework.

I worry that we are not able to do enough for him, and are not doing enough for her. We can only do so much and hope we are doing enough. I just feel anxious. I want them both to have the best opportunities and I am not sure they have. I worry that my son will again have a poor teacher, unequipped and unwilling to work with a child that does not fit the normal behavior pattern. The last couple teachers he had actually made things worse, only the E.A. took the time to understand and help him and the other children stuck in this women’s class.

I worry that I don’t do enough for my daughter because she is fine and my son needs lots of help. I know she acts out to get more attention sometimes. I hope that she does not act out in school to try and get more attention.

Most parents seem to be happy when their children go to school. All I can think about is how difficult this school year may be. Both children have teachers new to the school. I am hoping that this will give both my kids a fresh unbiased teacher who will give them a chance.

Welcome to Lord of the Rings MMORPG, now I am addicted

Addictions can get you anytime, anywhere. I have never thought of myself as having an addictive personality. I don’t drink, do drugs, hoard stuff or anything I would consider a type of addiction. Even my gambling is “safe”. I play bingo once every few years, I play the lottery weekly and used to spend $10 every couple of months to play online poker. I am addicted to coffee, but have cut it back to one to three cups in a day. So I would never think I could become addicted to anything.

Seems I am addicted to my computer and computer games. I was playing Dragons of Atlantis on Facebook for a bit. Found myself playing for hours on end. I never noticed the time go by. My kids and husband got quite cranky after a couple of weeks. I liked the game but had to stop playing. It is never ending, with new things to do all the time.

My husband made the mistake of introducing me to a MMORPG Lord of the Rings. It is free to play now, and a lot of fun. It blew Dragons of Atlantis away for me. It does not have the strategy aspect I loved on Dragons of Atlantis but the graphics are much better. You can walk around, talk to people, fight things, create things and even find things. There are quests and tasks to do. You can work with people, or alone. Though, at times you are required to form fellowships to finish some quests. I love it.

I am playing a lady hunter who makes jewellery and food. Seems my personality showed up in my game character. I have fun doing tasks and quests but am not very good at fighting with others. I am a little focused on just getting through that I forget about the people playing with me. Not so good, but am working on it. I think it will just take some practice.

My husband tended to take over my character when I did fellowships and skirmish’s. So now that I am actually trying to do them I suck! I just don’t have the skill yet. I will learn it but I have to do group fights at a low level until I get my skill up. I like doing the quests and tasks more than working as a group, but for some things you need to work with a group so I am learning.

I have had to limit myself to how much time I can spend on the game. I thought Dragons of Atlantis had sucked me in. Lord of the Rings is much more addictive. There is just so much to do. Lord of the Rings is so flexible and complex that it works on many levels. Each person is experiencing a different game but playing the same quests and tasks.

You can create unique and individual characters, change their looks and what they do until you are happy. You can create several different characters to play on one account. That way you can be anything and everything in the game. You can even have a home to relax in. There is a hobby, fishing. And you stand there and fish. I think this game is a way to have fun and leave the stress of the day behind, as long as you don’t end up creating problems because you are spending too much time online playing.

My family has made some smart choices about this game. We have limited ourselves to one account with different characters for each of us. This way we have to share the account and the time we spend on it. It would be a bad thing if we each had our own account. It would be too easy to find ourselves playing on different computers for hours. Instead we are limiting our time, but not our fun.

We are working together as a family. We make sure we spend time together off line, and help each other in the game. It is taking a lot of work to make sure we have that balance. Lord of the Rings is just that much fun. I am glad we are playing it the way we are. I am not sure if my husband and son will still be playing once the new Star Wars one comes out, but until then we are having fun together.

Because it is free I am happy to recommend Lord of the Rings to other people. If you do decide to try it out it would be appreciated if you would put Fenwolf1978 as the person who referred the game to you. If you do they will give us some Turbine points that we can use to buy or open up new quests and areas of the map, horses, houses, clothing and more. If you do, thank you in advance. If not, enjoy the game anyway. Look us up, Fenwolf, Mohasaba and Nicdragon. We will be happy to help out with any quests and tasks. You could fight with Fenwolf or Nicdragon. Or you could help me, Mohasaba, be a better team player. Just don’t blame us when you realise you have become addicted to the game.

Working from home - The good, bad and ugly

For several years now I have worked from my home. I ran my own business for years and now I work for a company doing copy writing for their websites. I love my work but there are some real pros and cons when working from home.

Working from home can be a great experience but it takes the right person to be able to do it. The demands of life always seem to interfere. There is always something more important to do then sit down and work. You have to be strong willed and motivated to make yourself sit down and go to work, even with all the distractions going on around you. There are phone calls, people dropping in and house hold chores crying out to be done.

At times, ok most times, a job is work and is boring. Not too many people enjoy working and do it because they have to. Watching TV, reading a book, talking with friends and playing video games are much more fun than working, even when you like what you do. It can be too tempting or easy to not work when you work from home. For some people working outside of their home is the best option otherwise nothing would get done.

When working from home there are good, bad and ugly things to be said about it.

The Good

• I don’t have to travel to and from work.
• I can work around my schedule.
• I can wear what I want.
• If my kids get sick I am already home, I can be with them and then work when they don’t need me.
• I get a good paycheque and I love what I do.
• I can still work even when I am sick.
• I can avoid most office politics. I can also avoid being distracted from work by co-workers, there is no chatting around the water cooler.
• My work space is mine, I don’t have to share and no one cares what it looks like or what I have on my wall.

The Bad

• It is very difficult finding a job that you work from home.
• There is no real socializing with co-workers. You tend to work by yourself. At times it does not feel as if you are part of a group. It is not good for people who love to socialize in the office.
• I have to have a work space. Even if I live in a small place I have to have an area that is just for work.
• I supply my own hardware, desk, chair, computer and everything else I need for my job.
• I am responsible for my computer software, internet and protecting my computer. If something goes wrong with my computer I have to pay to have it fixed or buy a new one.
• I pay for internet, electricity and everything else.
• It can be hard to get started some days. There is always other stuff to do. Some days the couch and TV call my name and I don’t get work done.
• If my kids are home I get nothing done.

• I cannot get away from work. There is no leaving it at the office.
• Problems with communication with boss. It can be harder to get hold of my boss then if I worked in the same office. Sometimes it can be difficult to get clear and precise instructions. It would be easier if I was in the office and could see what my boss wanted.
• I forget to stop working. There is no “end” to my work day. I can work 24/7 if I wanted. That means I sometimes forget to stop and eat lunch. Once I lost track of time and was late picking up my kids from school.
• It is not easy, I have real work to do and no one to help me or do my job if I am sick. It is not a cushy job sitting around my house doing nothing. If I don’t work I don’t get paid.

The Ugly

• I am treated different when working at home then I would be in an office.
• People just don’t respect my job.
• Working from home is viewed as not actually having a job.
• It is too easy for people to forget you are working.

o There just seems to be a lack of respect for my job and my work hours. People are always saying they would love to be able to work from home, but when I say that I do suddenly my job is not as important as theirs. It somehow becomes devalued by the fact that I don’t have to dress up and go into an office every day.

o Many people think that because I work from home it is not a real job and I can stop and do other things whenever they want me to. I get phone calls during my work hours when people just want to chat and then they think I am being rude when I say that I have to get back to work. They would never call me at “work” if I worked in an office. But because I am at home that means I am not working and I should be available to them.

o I was taking to child care subsidy. Because I work from home they were telling me they don’t usually give child care subsidies to people who work from home. After all they can watch their kids because they are home. The fact that they cannot get any work done and they lose their jobs is their problem. It would be a different story if I had to leave my home to work. After arguing with them and pointing out that I have a job, with a paycheque, and scheduled hours they had to agree that I have a job and require child care. It was only because I told them that I do have to drop into the office every once in awhile that they agreed that it was a “job”. There is an office to work in but I don’t always work there so I have a real job. The fact that I don’t have a desk there and only go there for face to face meetings with my boss was not as important as the fact that I had to go into the office at some point.

o Even my husband has said to me, you are going to be at home today so you can get all this stuff done. Then he looks surprised when I say “no, I am working”. He used to think that I should be able to stop and do things with him and would actually get upset that I was blowing him off to “work”. That changed when he had a work from home job for a bit. He suddenly understood that being home does not mean I am not working. I think it would have become a big problem if he had not experienced working from home for himself.

Working from home can be very rewarding, but it is not easy to do. I think that I am very lucky to be able to work from home. But that does not make it any easier to actually work from home. I have to make myself go to work every day. It is easier to do so when you are expected to show up someplace and do a job. I don’t have my boss breathing down my neck checking up on me but I still have to get the work done. I am 100% responsible for what I do and do not do.

Another great Jedi Kids Video

The Jedi Kids Video for the Star Wars the Old Republic MMO

The Jedi Kids was created to allow Young Jedi and their parents a place to talk and play. To ensure a safe environment for Kids to enjoy the Star Wars Universe and meet other kids to work together on all the team based content of the game. Any one allied with the Republic and 17 and under can join.

http://www.thejedikids.guildlaunch.com/index.php?gid=209570

Jedi Kids guild for kids

My son has fallen in love with Star Wars, the movies, T.V. shows and video games. My husband is going to be trying out the Star Wars the Old Republic MMO when it comes out. My son cannot wait until the game comes out. He is going to play with his dad and then once he has learned how to play he is going to get his own account and character. My husband is going to sit with him and help him play, until he is much older and can play by himself (with supervision.)

To make it safer my husband and another of the dads have started the Jedi Kids guild. This will give kids a safe place to play, with people they know. This will eliminate the worries of the MMO bullies intimidation tactics, abuse and swearing. The Jedi Kids can enjoy the game as they learn to play and hopefully make friends. Most of the game is single player with specific points where group play is involved, unless you are on the group server. I want the people he plays with to be his friends or at least friendly.

I am glad that they are doing this. I don’t want my son’s love of Star Wars games destroyed by other people who think it is fun to pick on new players. Some people think my son is too young to play. I think it will be fine as long as it is with my husband or me. It is not like we would let him play by himself. All his game play and computer time are supervised.

My son is so happy about this whole thing. He gets to play a Star Wars game, gets Daddy time and is looking forward meeting kids from all over the world. He hopes lots of kids join The Jedi Kids Guild.

Top six Easter gifts for girls 5 to 7 years old in 2011

Easter will be here very shortly. This year my daughter has helped me create a list of what she thinks would be the best gifts for the Easter bunny to give her. Of course there will be the usual chocolate and other goodies hidden for the kids to find but I do like to give each of them one bigger gift, or a couple of smaller toys for them to find.



Lalaloopsy dolls
She has been asking for a Lalaloopsy doll since before Christmas. I am not so sure what the appeal is but she thinks they are great. Yes they are bright and different looking, very creative. She seems to like Jewel Sparkles with the Pet Pink Cat the most. I have found Lalaloopsy dolls costing $29.99 (toysrus.ca) up to $70.00 depending where you look. The Lalaloopsy mini dolls are $6.99 (Toysrus.ca). I can see a mini finding its way into her Easter basket. It is cute and not too expensive.



Monster High dolls
Yet another toy she has wanted since before Christmas. Most of her school friends have at least one of the Monster High dolls and brings them to school all the time. I think my daughter feels left out because they have them and she does not. She has never seen the show so her only contact with the dolls has been commercials and her friends. She wants the Clawdeen Wolf one. I would have thought Cleo de Nile because she is like a princess or Draculaura because she has a lot of pink. No, she really likes Clawdeen Wolf. I have found Clawdeen Wolf from $16.99 to $19.99 online.



Furreal friends
Furreal friends she has been collecting for at least a year. She has dogs, cats and a racing bunny with track. It comes as no surprise she would like more. She has been asking about the furreal friends Kitty Cat ever since she saw it in a store. It is around $50. She also loves the furreal friends snuggimals dress ‘n snuggle, they even have a bunny one that is around $17. I can usually find small furreal friends between $7 and $13 at Walmart.





Zhu Zhu pets
These were big around Christmas. She has a couple from Christmas but she would like a puppy just like her friends at school has. They are very popular right now with all the girls in her class. I found them for about $11. What she has been getting is the baby Zhu Zhu pets. They don’t require batteries, they just have a little ball on the bottom that the role on. They come with accessories, are small and usually under $7. There are many Zhu Zhu pet accessories she would love as well.



Build a bear
Build a bear is always a hit with my kids and they have bunnies. A couple of build a bears stood out to me, the lamb and a bunny. I think that they are cute. However, the real charm of build a bear is that the kids get to build the bear and bring it to life. It is not the same to be given a build a bear as it is to make your own. I would put a build a bear gift certificate in her basket before I would give her an actual “made” build a bear. The clothing on the other hand has unlimited possibilities. She already has a build a bear, so clothing for that build a bear is a great option. The clothing can start off as little as $4 but is usually in the $10 to $20 range. It would be easy to pick up a couple of small pieces or an entire outfit for Easter.




Lego
My daughter would play with my son’s Lego but never seemed to get into like he does. Then for her birthday she was given a “girls” Lego set. The Lego was pink, white and other light colours. The figure was a girl and she could make pets, there were stickers for eyes, flowers and other cool things. Suddenly she was playing Lego all the time, building things and talking about getting more “girl” Lego. I think part of the fun was that I was right there with her, playing and building. There is some wonderful “girl” Lego out there, any and all of it she would like. She would love the pink Lego box with 219 pieces for $21.99 or the large pink Lego box for $39.99, that one even has a horse. I really like the Lego Ville Pet Shop I found for $29.99. It has a girl figure and several pets and it is a little shop. Very cool. I do know she also likes the Mystery Lego Minifigure bags. They are only $2.99 each and it is fun to see what you get. Both my kids are starting to collect them. However they do have an agreement that any girl figures my daughter gets.

Finding the perfect birthday gift for your boyfriend or girlfriend

I have written a couple of blogs on great birthday gift ideas for your boyfriend and girlfriend. I have had some positive and negative feedback. From the feedback I have the impression that some people just don’t get it. Finding the perfect or greatest birthday gift is not easy; it involves work but more importantly an investment of time and energy learning about your boyfriend or girlfriend. I get asked all the time; what should I give my boyfriend/girlfriend for their birthday. I will keep creating gift idea lists because it’s fun and new things come out every day. People need to understand that lists are just ideas, suggestions and a way to get them to think out of the box and come up with their own gift ideas.



It comes down to communication. Talk to each other about your likes, loves, hates, dreams and anything else that comes up. The more you know about each other the easier it is to give things to each other. Lists of gift ideas don’t mean a thing if you don’t know the person you are giving the gift to. That is why I always say in the beginning of a relationship keep the gifts simple and somewhat generic but still try to take the time to learn what your boyfriend or girlfriend would like. After that finding the right gift should be easy, finding the right gift within your budget can be the hard part.

If you know the person you are buying for it should not be that hard to get an idea of what that person would like. With my husband it is easy to figure out what to give him even after 10 years. We talk to each other, and I don’t try to give him what I think he would like, but what he actually wants. I know what movies he likes, the books he wants and all his weaknesses and I take advantage of that knowledge. The problem is keeping him from buying it before I can give it to him. He usually finds out his gift early because I am trying to stop him from buying something or I keep telling him to wait a few weeks. He figures it out quickly. However there have been more times when I had to return something and come up with a new gift idea because he bought what I was going to give him.



This year I got him something unexpected that he loves. Speakers for his computer that light up and change with the music. He loves listening to music when he works or relaxes. The speakers were better quality than his old ones and he loved the look of them. He put them on his computer right away. I had to think out of the box on this one. Normally I don’t mess with his computer he builds them for fun and always knows what he wants. So I knew he would never expect me to buy him computer speakers. It was great seeing the look on his face when he opened the box.

My husband on the other hand has a hard time figuring out gifts for me, even when I tell him what I want. For years he would give me what he thought I should want not what I told him I wanted. What I wanted never seemed romantic enough to him. So I ended up with romantic gifts that were things he wanted me to have, not things I wanted. It took a long time for him to finally figure out that I was much happier with the so called unromantic gifts. To me they were much more romantic because he took the time to really hear me and understand me, and gave me what I wanted.



This year one of my gifts (from my kids but really my husband) was a bunch of fun socks. I love being gifted unusual, funny and strange socks, anything but plain black or white boring socks. It is a simple gift, but I know my husband and kids have a great time trying to find ones I will like. I like wearing them and remembering when I got them, or having my kids excited because I am wearing the socks they picked out. It may not be a big gift, or a romantic gift but I think they are great.

I like to cook so for the last couple of years my husband has been giving me “cooking stuff” that I will not buy myself. A really nice restaurant quality wok, better quality pots, pans, cookie sheets, cheesecake pans and even a perogie maker. Whatever new cooking fad I am in he gives me what I need to do it.



My husband knows how much I love my coffee so one year I was given an individual cup coffee makes, a coffee grinder that does one cups worth at a time, and a wonderful bag of coffee beans. He likes to surprise me with different types and flavours of coffee beans to try. The man simply knows me, and knows what I like and has learned to give me that.

The point is to learn about your loved one and understand what is important to them and run with it. Who cares if it makes sense to anyone else, or does not seem romantic? All that matters is that it makes your boyfriend or girlfriend happy.



However, there are some people that are impossible to buy for and gift idea lists can be a great help with them, because at least you tried and did not just go out and buy any old thing. I have people in my family like that. It does not matter what you give them it is never the right thing, not expensive enough or not what they really wanted (not that they told anyone what they wanted). With people like that you just try and find what makes you happy to give them because when it comes right down to it they are never going to be happy with what you give them so you might as well be.