Why don’t people want to change their lives for the better?

I have been noticing many requests for food, diapers and other necessities on Facebook and other places.  Many people are struggling to survive.   I get it, lots of people just don’t have the money to make it from paycheque to paycheque (working or not).  I know that it is a reality, many people have to go to food banks, and even then it is easy to find yourself without before you have any money to buy more.

I always feel bad, and worry about the kids because it is usually someone with children asking for help.  Not saying that people with kids are going without more than those without kids.  I just think that a good parent is going to let go of their pride enough to ask for help when it is for their kids, where they may not if it was just for their self.  I know, I am a parent and we struggled for a long time.  For my kids I went to food banks, went without so my kids had the food or clothing they needed.  A few times in my life I have had to ask for a little help, and was lucky enough to get it.

For the local people asking for help I have offered to help them change how they buy stuff, to coupon.  I have even offered to give them coupons and take them out so that they can get to the store and learn how to get their money to buy more then it usually does.  Heck, for some things all I have to do is pay the tax.  It is how my family is able to have the food we do.  You save on what you can and use the rest to buy what you have to. 

So far not one person has taken me up on it and I don’t understand why not.  I mean, sure I cannot give you food right this second (actually some of the coupons will give you free food) but I am willing to teach you and help you so you can feed your family better using coupons and price matching.  It really works, but it does take time and a lot of effort.  It can be very difficult when you bus and have to try and buy everything for the month in one trip.  I know, I have had to do that for a long time.  I don’t understand why people are willing to ask for help, but then are not interested in making changes so they don’t have to ask for help.

I learned a long time ago that not everyone with their hand out actually needs it, some do, but some make a good living begging.  Other people are usually just fine but something happened to put them in a position of needing help for this week or month but things will be fine after that.  Others are in a position of needing help all the time, not enough money, too much debt, or they simply don’t have a clue how to handle the money they do have. 

I just find it frustrating when there are people who would benefit by making a few changes in their lives are unwilling or not interested in making any type of change.  It makes me question if I should keep offering to help.  I am sure if I said, here take the food I have worked so hard to get for my family they would be glad to take it, but are not interested in doing the work for their self.  I just don’t get it.  

Alphabet list for a better life

A is for attitude, a positive one.  Be positive, positive things will happen because you make them happen.  You will notice more positive things if you look for them, you may miss them if you don’t look for the positive.

B is for believing in yourself and others; like your loved ones.

C is for caring for yourself and others.

D is for doing, actually doing stuff, not talking about it, watching it on TV or thinking about it but actually turning off the computer and doing something.

E is for exercise, even though I hate it, I know I have to exercise.  Be active, get up and get the body moving.

F is for family and friends, and fun.  Fun is important, but so are family and friends.

G is for good, good food, good fun, good friends, good day, good well everything.

H is for happy.  Find something to be happy about every day, or better yet every hour.  Don’t wait for others to make you happy, or things to happen that make you happy.  Instead find your own happiness, and then share it to make others happy.

I is for individual.  Be yourself.  Don’t conform to others expectations, or become just like everyone else just to fit in.  Instead be yourself, be an individual, and encourage others to be themselves as well.  It is more fun being you than trying to be someone else just to make others happy.

J is for Joy.  Create joy where ever you go, find something to be joyful about every place you go.  Joy does not just happen, you have to help it happen, look for it and you will find it, even if it is just the joy found in a smile.

K is for kiss.  All kisses.  The ones you share as couples, the ones you give your children when they have a boo boo or are going to bed.  Kisses are about love, kindness and caring.

L is for loving life.  Don’t just live your life, love the life you have.  If you don’t love your life, than make changes until you do.  Don’t expect others to change for you, instead make the changes you need, that make your life better.  Let others make the changes they need to love their life.

M is for making, such as making the best of things.  Making things happen instead of waiting for others to make things happen.  Making as in creating things, like a good meal, a garden or a card that makes you happy.

N is for noticing.  Noticing all the good things in your life, not all the negative.  Some days it is more difficult than others, but you need to put the effort into noticing good things.

O is for organization.  It is hard to be happy, or find time to be happy if you are always fixing things, or busy.  Being organized lets you find ways to make time for yourself and find happiness.

P is for persistence.  You have to stick to things, be persistent.  Be persistent to be happy, to meet your goals.  Change does not happen if you give up when things get difficult, so persistence is important.

Q is for quality, not quantity.  It is better to have quality in life instead of a lot of things.  More does not mean better.

R is for relaxing.  Always take some time to relax.

S is for staying true to yourself.  This has to be one of the hardest things, staying true to yourself.  We are taught as children to fit in, to make other people happy.  It can be very difficult to stand up and say no, to stray true to who you are, not change for others.

T is for truth.  Be truthful to yourself.  Don’t lie to yourself or others to make people happy, or avoid conflict.  Be honest with yourself, what you like, don’t like, and need in your life.  If you are not honest or truthful to yourself how can you find happiness.  If you are not truthful to others how can they make you happy? 

U is for unique.  Be unique, don’t try to hid or change who you are.  There is only one of you, so embrace your uniqueness.

V is for validation and value.  Value yourself.  Give yourself validation, don’t look to others to validate or value you.  Also if you don’t value yourself why should anyone else.  If you want people to value you than you need to value yourself!

W is for willingness.  Willingness to find happiness, and joy in your life.  Willingness to accept yourself, embrace who you are and change the things you don’t like.  Willingness to work hard and go after the things you want in life.  Willingness to let go of things that harm your life and to find out what makes your life better.  Willingness to be you, and accept that you can be happy.

X is for Xenodochial, which is a big word meaning to be friendly to strangers.  So be nice to the people you know and don’t know.

Y is for you.  You need to put yourself first.  Take care of you, do things that create a better life for you (and your children).

Z is for zest.  Have a zest for life, enjoy and embrace, live.