What you get your girlfriend for her birthday is going to depend on how long you have been together, at what stage of the relationship you are in, and how well you know her. The hardest gift to figure out is always the first one.
Great birthday gifts for your girlfriend when you are at the very beginning of the relationship and don’t know each other that well yet.
1) A light card, maybe with some humour, with a lottery ticket and some thing saying you hope she is as lucky with the lottery ticket or scratchy as you feel you are because you are together.
2) Flowers, with a vase. Try to find out her favourite colour, or flower before hand. If you have no idea of what she likes go for a mix with a variety of colours and types of flowers or go with one rose.
3) A gift basket is an excellent way to go. What is good about a basket is that you can use whatever information you do know about her to make one just for her. It can have food, candies, flowers, what ever she has shown some interest in. One man I know gave his girlfriend of a few weeks a basket with seashells, a small bag of sand and a glass bowl shaped like a shell to display them in. She had let him know that she loved the beach; it was winter so this was his way of bringing the beach to her. If you have only been out a few times you should still have a good idea if she likes coffee or tea. If she likes coffee or tea have a basket with a coffee or tea mug/cup. A good blend of coffee or tea products, some biscuits/cookies and card. If you know some thing she likes add it to the basket.
4) A nice dinner out is a great idea, but make sure it is part of the gift and not all you do. People like having some thing to open.
Things not to buy at this stage as they are not appropriate or give the wrong message or impression:
1) Clothing, of any type, especially not lingerie
2) Bath products, or personal care products. It gives the wrong message.
3) Jewellery
4) Candles
5) Box of chocolates
6) Perfume
7) No gag gifts even if she has a sense of humour.
Great Birthday gifts once you have been going out for a bit and have a good idea of what her likes and dislikes are. This is the easiest stage because you know more abut each other; things are still new and fresh. What makes the difference in the gifts is if you are in a casual or serious relationship.
Casual Relationship Birthday gifts
1) A card that has a casual tone, but still says I care.
2) Jewellery is ok here especially if you get her birthstone, as long as you do not buy any rings as they can be seen as taking the relationship to the serious level. Do not buy any thing with a Celtic Claddagh, as it is a symbol of commitment.
3) Flowers are still great, but not as the only gift. Make sure they have some special meaning to your girlfriend.
4) Birthday dinner is a good idea. You may want to have some of her friends over for a home cooked meal if you are always going out, or you will want to have dinner out with her friends if you usually have stay at home dates.
5) Gift baskets are still wonderful here and now you have a better idea of what to put into them. They still show that you put some effort into the gift, but you can keep it with a casual tone. You can put all her favourite things into it, foods, candies, books, tickets to a game, theatre show, concert or what ever she likes.
6) Candles, candies, chocolates, perfume, gag gifts will work as at this point because you know for sure that your girlfriend likes them or not. Do not buy bath or personal care products as it still sends the wrong message.
Serious Relationship Birthday gifts
1) A card that has a hand written message by you about how you feel about her and the relationship. Make sure it is honest and heartfelt, not just what you think she wants to hear. It should have some mention of event that was meaningfull to the both of you.
2) Jewellery is great here. A promise ring or Celtic Claddagh shows how you feel and that you are serious and committed to her and the relationship.
3) Flowers as always a nice but never as the only gift or main gift.
4) Lingerie and other things that can be bought at a sex shop may be ok to buy at this point. But not as the main gift, and only if it is some thing your girlfriend has expressed interest in. Surprising her with this can backfire fast so this is some thing you need to tread carefully with and make sure it is some thing she is open to. Some people see lingerie as the guy is buying himself a gift and giving it to his girlfriend, in other words it is more for the guy.
5) Gift certificates for a spa are very popular. As long as it is not some thing she does all the time already. Always make sure they are for relaxing things like a massage or open for her to pick what she wants to use it for.
6) At this point it should be very easy to buy a gift because you know what she likes, her hobbies, what she collects, what she really needs. If your girlfriend was looking at a coat that she wanted but could not afford then this is a good gift. It shows that you care about her, pay attention and took the time to find what she needed and wanted. It is something just for her, not a generic gift like candles or a box of chocolates. Just make sure that what ever you get is special to her.
7) Gift certificates for any thing other then a spa you have to be careful about. You have to make sure it is for some thing that only she can pick out. To be honest, at this point you should have a good idea of what she likes, what she has, and what she wants. If you have to go with a gift certificate instead of taking the time to pick some thing (and keep the receipt just in case) then some thing is not right.
Great Birthday gifts for your girlfriend once you have been together for a while. This can be almost as hard as the first gift, even harder if you live together. You just don’t know what to get her any more. You have already done every thing; you need some thing new and fresh. Don’t give the same thing you did last year, or the year before. You need to show you care, make it romantic and special.
1) Engagement or promise ring. If you are in a long term committed relationship (together for many years already) the idea of getting married has probably come up. This is a good time to show your love and commitment to her. Presentation will be important so that you can show you care, make it romantic and special. Everything you do for her birthday will evolve around the presentation of the ring. Some people are reluctant to give an engagement ring as a gift because if the relationship breaks up the ring was a gift and does not need to be returned. If you are concerned about that then maybe you are not in as committed a relationship as you thought and should not commit to something you are not ready for. However if you expect to be together forever then go for it, get married or whatever ceremony (Hand fasting is a nice ceremony) you want to that shows your commitment to each other.
2) Birthday parties can be fun and special. If you are always doing things at home then have the party out, dinner at a restaurant, dancing after at a club and then friends go home and you end the night romantically with a nice hotel stay.
3) One man gave his girlfriend a book of 52 coupons that he made himself. They were for things like: a back rub, foot rub, pamper night where he would take care of dinner and clean up and she got to go soak in the tub with a book, a night out dancing (he did not like dancing), Breakfast in bed day where he made breakfast and cleaned up, pick the movie, control of the TV remote, no sports day, girls night out, pick the take out, pick the restaurant, etc. What he did was listen when she was upset about any thing, then he would write it down and then made a book of coupons out of things she said. When she said she was tired of making dinner all the time he made the “I will take care of dinner and clean up” coupon. When she was upset that he was spending too much time watching sports on TV he made the “no sports day” and “control of the TV remote” coupons. It was a very good way to show her he listened and cared about her and how she felt. She was to use a coupon a week, though she did use more the one some weeks and none at all on others. She said this was the best gift any one had ever given her.
4) A gift certificate for a spa is always good, as long as you don’t do it every year.
5) Find out a place she has always wanted to go to or is important to her. What ever it is will be up to her, and some things may be out of your price range but you can still make a gift out of it. If she has always wanted to go to some place like China, Australia, Paris or a theme park you can still give that to her even if you can not send her. You can have a theme birthday. For Paris you find a great French restaurant, a theatre show or movie based in Paris, with gifts that she could get in Paris; Perfumes, paintings, pictures of Paris, a tacky tourist shirt or little Eiffel tower. It can be a lot of fun and if you find enough places she would like to go to you will have some great ideas for other birthdays.
6) Find out some thing she has always wanted to do. Then find a way for her to do it. It may involve getting gift certificates for some thing she may have always wanted to do like sky diving, a balloon ride, become an author, or painter or any number of things. You may have to arrange for classes, and make sure she can do them. If she has children part of the gift should be childcare for when she is doing the balloon ride or taking a French, drawing, or creative writing class at night school. Please note that if it is dance lesions you will more then likely expected to participate.
7) Maid for the day, week, month or year what ever you can afford. It is really a day off, knowing that the work is being done and will not be still have to be done the next day. Make sure this is presented as giving her a day off and not in a way that can be seen that you think she is a poor housekeeper. Not many people are going to say no to someone else cleaning up for the day, especially if it means the two of you can have some special time together instead of cleaning.
You can always find the right gift and a way to make it special if you take the time to talk with your girlfriend and then put the time, and effort into it. Money will dictate what you can and cannot do. But it is more important to give some thing that has meaning to your girlfriend then how much it cost.
Written by: Lori-Lee Craig
