Thursday, September 17, 2009

Potty training regression

Lots of deep breathing!

I have to keep my frustration and anger in check.

My daughter was potty trained some time ago. Then she suddenly started peeing herself. It was frustrating. Why the sudden change. It was suggested she was under stress, or it could be a control issue, even an expression of anger, or a fear of the toilet flushing noise. There was the stress of knowing she would be starting school (JK) and her best friends moving way. We took her to the Dr. to make sure she did not have an infection. He had some tests and an ultra sound done. Her bladder is small and may not be able to keep up with her body. No explanation for why she was trained before and now is only trained when she wants to be. Her bladder was the same size then as it is now.

So we went back to pull ups. Only to have her not even trying to use the bathroom. She had a diaper on, why use the toilet is she could go in a diaper? Not the reaction we needed. So off come the pull ups, now we start the reminders and timers with no success. She stood in the bathroom doorway and peed on the floor, looking at the toilet. WHAT ARE YOU DOING! I don’t have a chair, couch, bed, rug or spot on the floor she has not peed on.

Now she has changed daycares and will be starting kindergarten next week. She regressed even more. It started at the day care. Two days in a row it was not pee but something even far less pleasant. Both days the daycare worker conveniently did not notice until I picked her up and asked her if she had not noticed the smell. All she had to say was that my daughter did not say anything. Then Grandpa died. Now the real fun begins. My daughter is not even trying to use the toilet. Lots of laundry, frustration and anger.

I am on my third straight day of dealing with a kid who just does not seem to care enough not to go bathroom in her underwear. Anger definitely does not work, nor does showing frustration, sadness or disappointment. Bribery, also known as positive reinforcement, is having no effect.

My husband said to just chill and give it time. She is just not handling things very well. Easy for him to say, he is not here dealing with her little surprises. I am under a lot of stress too, and this is not helping. I don’t get to be stressed though, I am a Mom and as a Mom I am supposed to suck it all up, deal with it and put the best possible face on for the kids.

They are asleep and I am stressing now, and letting it show, and your reading about it. I sure hope this little anti-toilet faze ends soon.


  1. How did this end? This sounds like my daughter and we ate at wits end. Tell me you have a happy ending?

    1. My daughter struggled for years. We got her tested repeatedly but the doctor kept saying there was nothing wrong with her, she has a small bladder but everything else was to get attention. If she was upset, angry, scared she would pee. If she was mad at us she would pee. If we yelled at her she would pee. We started punishing her for peeing, because the doctor said she was choosing to not use the toilet.

      We took her to pediatrician only to have her tell us it was emotional, no medical issues. Mind you it was based on what info our doctor had in my daughters file. She said to ignore it when my daughter peed herself – just tell her to change and move on. This was to take away the “attention” she was getting when she peed herself. This actually worked really well. She started using the toilet again. She still had accidents, but we could tell she was trying. It made life a lot better in our home; however she was still having accidents at school and at home. She was always complaining that her belly hurt – the doctor always said it was to get attention.

      We switched doctors this year. So my daughter has been having problems with peeing herself and complaining about her stomach for about two years. The new doctor took one look at her file and freaked. My daughter has been backed up for at least two years – all the x-rays and ultrasounds clearly show it. It was from one end of her to the other – and back into her belly. This is why her belly hurt, and why she would suddenly pee without warning – the pressure was causing it. This was a real health risk, she may have permanent damage. She is now on medication to help keep things moving, she is on a high fiber diet and has to drink a lot of water. We have to monitor her everyday to make sure she is doing what she needs to.

      She has stopped peeing herself, and does not complain about her belly all the time. There have been a few days when she complains about her belly so we increase the water and fiber for the next day. So part of the issue was to get attention, but most of it was a real medical issue.