How to keep your teen girl safe when she parties

How to best keep your teen girl safe when she parties, become the party home. Let your home become the one every one hangs out at. Sure you have a messy house and a large food bill but at least you know where your teen daughter is at and what she is doing. You can control what goes on in your home, make sure drugs and alcohol is not getting into the teens, and no place for them to have sex. The reality of this actually happening is slim to none as teenagers want to party at the place with the least supervision. So you have to deal with the reality that your teenager is going to party with her friends some where out of your control.

You need to teach your teen girl that she can party and have fun without drugs or alcohol, give her the real information about what drugs and alcohol do to a person. Control what you can and educate her on every thing else. We also must teach by example. What is the point of saying, “Do as I tell you not as I do”? It does no good to tell a teen girl not to do some thing she sees her parents and other role models doing.

Things parents need to think about to keep their teen girl safe when she parties. People need to understand that a party can be any activity outside your supervision. It can be at a school party, a birthday party, friends home, at underage dance clubs, or your teen girl can get fake ID and get into actual bars and clubs. There are too many things to worry about these days. If we let our teen girls party we need to make sure they understand what is ok, not ok and the consequences of her and others actions. What are we the parents most concerned with? Sex, Drugs and alcohol for the most part.

Let us deal with each of these: First Sex.

As parents we need to have the sex talk with our children, both boys and girls as early as possible. This way they will hopefully have a good idea of what sex is, what is ok and not ok, and the consequences like pregnancy, Aids and other STD’s. We cannot stop our teens from wanting sex, or even having sex. All we can do is try to make sure they make the best possible informed decisions.

We also need to build our teen girls self-esteem so they don’t need to turn to teen boys and men to feel better about them selves. Girls with low self-esteem often turn to sex to become popular and mistake the attention they are getting for love or as giving them value. Others with low self-esteem will let people treat them badly, even selling themselves to others for sex because they don’t think they are worth more or deserve better. We as parents need to do what we can to stop this from happening. We must let them know they are valued and loved by us, just the way they are. Not an easy thing to do.

What we need to make sure our teen daughters understand is that teen boys and even grown men want to have sex with them. Yes even when a teen girl is only 13 guys are trying to get into their pants; they don’t just want to be fiends. For the most part teen boys and men will tell her what ever she wants to hear to try and have sex with her. Others may go a more direct rout, using drugs and alcohol to get rid of her inhibitions, and make it easer for them to convince her to have sex. Others will use alcohol, and drugs to cause her to be unable to fight them off as they rape her. If you are passed out it is kind of hard to say “NO”. Others will just rape, with or with out the use of drugs and alcohol. Our daughters need to know this, not some sanitized version of life. They must understand that this can happen to them, it does not just happen to other people.

Second: Drugs

All children, and teens, must understand the difference between drugs and medicine. Medicine is some thing a Dr. prescribes to make a specific medical problem better. Drugs are sold or given by people who want them to get high, become addicted, and give them money to get more drugs. Sure the idea is that drugs make you feel better, have better sex, or just remove you from problems. The reality is that drugs make you stupid, addicted and change who you are.

So we make sure our kids and teens know not to do drugs. That it is not a cool or fun thing to do, even if other people around you are doing it. Doing random drug tests at home help them say NO. It makes it easer for them to give a reason for not doing the drugs, a way out from peer pressure. It is much easer for a teen to say, “I can’t do that or be in the room when you do it because my parents drug test me when I get home” then to say “No I don’t want to do that”. For the most part unless a teen girl is looking for drugs to escape their lives they appreciate having a way out from taking them.

The real problem here is that drug dealers are marketing and targeting preteens and teens. Our kids and teens don’t even know that they are taking a drug. There were some sour candies that the dealer coated with a drug and they looked the same as the regular sour candies. Others have made special suckers; the drug was mixed in with the sucker ingredients when they were being made. It looks like a sucker, why would any one think it was not one. Then they don’t sell drugs to the kids and teens, but they sell a candy that is special, makes you feel better, or how ever they want to market it. The next thing you know the kids and teens are addicted to a drug they did not even know they were taking. Drug testing at home can catch this and help find where the drug is coming from.

Third: Alcohol

This one is the hard one. It is legal and teen girls see their parents drinking. If it is ok for the parent to drink alcohol why can’t they? It is one of those do as I tell you not as I do type situations, and that never works. A lot of people do not see there is any harm in drinking even when it is underage drinking. Telling teen girls that drinking puts them at risk can help keep them from drinking, but only if they understand the hard facts about it. Not some lame, “Don’t drink its bad for you.” Drinking impairs decision-making so you have to stop them from having the first drink.

Teen girls need to understand that it puts them at risk to be raped as well as other things. Alcohol is responsible for most teen deaths. Death caused by drunk driving is the one most people think of. However alcohol poisoning is right up there as well as non-vehicle related accidents. When some one is drunk or stoned things that would normally be obviously dangerous is not seen that way. This would explain many injuries and deaths like trying to race across a train track and beat the train, or jumping off a cliff into water to go swimming.

How to keep your teen girl from drinking or doing drugs? There are home tests that you can use to tell if she has been drinking or doing drugs. It makes it easer for her to say; “no I get tested when I get home”. If she is old enough to drive get her to always be the designated driver. The best thing to do is to be brutal in showing the consequences. Not just the films about drinking, or showing the cars that were in drinking related accidents. Show them the people on the street, homeless, see if you can show some one detoxing from alcohol or drugs. Have them talk to some one whose friend or family member died from alcohol or drugs. Make her watch how people act when drunk. If she does come home drunk film her. Then show her what she is actually like when drunk.

How to try and raise a drug-free teen

As parents we need to explain to our children, and teens, as early as possible the difference between drugs and medicine. People use the words drug and medicine to mean the same thing. Yes drugs can be medicine, but when we are teaching our children and teens about drugs we have to show that there is a big difference. Teenagers have grown up in a world where a pill can make your pain go away, fix what ever your problems are. It is easy to understand why teenagers will look to drugs to fix things. They need to understand that medicine is some thing a Dr. prescribes to make specific medical and health problems better. Drugs are sold or given by people who want you to get high, become addicted, and then give them money to get more drugs. That is just the start.

I grew up in a home full of drugs and alcohol. I can tell you it made me a drug free teenager. I could see what drugs and alcohol did to people. Why would I ever let myself become one of them? People with no thought or ambition but to make sure they got their next fix or drink. There may not have been money for food or clothing for me, a child but by God there was money for drugs and booze. Usually a child raised in this type of environment is more susceptible to drug and alcohol abuse. I was the acceptation to the rule.

You don’t want your teen to do drugs, show them the real life of a drug addict before they become one. Show them the people living on the streets, selling themselves and even their children for drugs. Show them people who are dieing and still looking for the next hit. The open soars, burns and shrivelled bodies of people who care more about feeding their drug habit instead of their bodies. The hair and teeth falling out as bodies shut down.

Explain the brutal truth about what drugs do to people. Sure they may make you feel as if all your problems are gone, or far away but that only lasts for as long as the drug dose does. Show them people on drugs so they know how people act, there are films and TV shows out there you can use. Show them some one detoxing, all of it. The most effective thing though is to show them how doing drugs will affect how they look. Show them the gradual change from clean and pretty to dirty and ugly drug addict. Vanity can be a powerful thing, use it. Let them know what they have to look forward to if they do drugs; the irrational behaviour, no money, no longer having a social life or friends, selling any thing and every thing for the drug, stealing, and the deterioration of body, mind and soul. You need to show them the truth and then hope it sticks.

Do not sugar coat the reality of drug use. Once you have educated your teens on the reality of drug use they will never go near the stuff right, nope. Most teens don’t think that any of that bad stuff is going to happen to them. They will only use it once to try it. The truth is if they use drugs once they will use again, no matter what the excuses they give they will be back. Some drugs have been designed to take hold of you from the first hit. They change your body so that you need the drug. You will always need it, even once you become clean.

Doing random drug tests at home help your teen say “NO”. It makes it easer for them to give a reason for not doing the drugs, a way out from peer pressure. It is much easer for a teenager to say, “I can’t do that or be in the room when you do it because my parents drug test me when I get home” then to say “No I don’t want to do that”. For the most part unless a teen is looking for drugs to escape their lives they appreciate having a way out from taking them.

So you talk to your teens, trust them and show that trust but still test them for drugs. Tell them that you test them so that they can say, “Sorry, cannot do drugs. I get tested at home.” Explain over and over each time that the testing is so it is easer for them to say no. Don’t stop testing just because your teen has passed all the tests, move to random testing. Yes it is expensive, but not as expensive as loosing your teen to drugs.

The real problem here is that drug dealers are marketing and targeting preteens and teens. Our kids and teens don’t even know that they are taking a drug. It is hidden in some thing the kids and teens like, and then they get hooked on it and still don’t even know its drugs. All they know is they want more of that candy, or drink their friend gave them. Some drugs are mixed in or injected into popular food items and then repackages often with special wrappers or packaging. We are talking about soft gums and chocolate bars that are injected, drug coated candies. We just had a problem this year in my area with Sour keys (and other sour candy) being coated with drugs and given to kids. There are even special suckers where drugs are mixed in with the ingredients when they were being made. It looks like a sucker, why would any one think it was not one. The dealer is not selling drugs to the kids and teens, but a candy that is special. Kids and teenagers become addicted to a drug they may not even know they were taking. Teenagers have an idea that they are buying drugs but can justify it in their minds because they are buying candies, not drugs. Drug testing at home can catch this.

The idea is to get children hooked on drugs early as possible, by any means, and then start making money from them. These days’ drug dealers have a lot of competition so they need to create a market. Then there are designer drugs targeted to look safe to kids and teen. Like the one that is mixed with sugar and food colouring so that it looks likes harmless candy, even though everyone knows it is a drug. Then there are the ones that increase your sex drive, or someone else, or just increase the intensity. Of course a teen is going to be interested in this. Teens also see all the advertisings for sex enhancement drugs on TV, so if it is ok for adults to take things to improve their sex lives, it is ok for them to do the same.

The truth is that we actually cannot stop our kids and teens from taking drugs if they want to. We can try to prevent them from taking them, or wanting to take them. Then we use drug tests to show how serious we are when it comes to drugs, but they only test for exact drugs. We can talk to them, reduce access to drugs, be good examples by not doing drugs, and monitor them. If they do start drugs then we do what it takes to get them off it. The sad part is that often kids and teens are getting drugs from the medicine cabinet in their own home, or can buy over the counter. They can even get other drugs online, all they need is access to a computer, a credit card or a Paypal account. That is very hard to catch. So your teen has some cold medicine and a couple of different containers of painkillers for headaches, backaches, muscle pain. Does that mean they are taking drugs? Possibly. These days there are some very powerful drugs available over the counter, and when taken properly are fine. You don’t know if your teen is taking a handful of mixed pills with a chaser of cold medicine as soon as they are alone, and they are not going to tell you.