A few years ago I wrote an article on Tips
on talking to your teen girl about sex. In the article I pointed out the need to tell
young ladies, or teen girls that men and teen boys want to have sex with
them. Some will say and do whatever will
get her to agree to have sex with them.
Some will use alcohol and drugs to lower her inhibitions to get her to
be more willing to have sex with them.
There are also people who will simply rape them, with or without the use
of drugs. It is reality. One person commented: “I
think we should spend more time teaching our sons not to rape as opposed to
teaching our daughters that they are victims.”
You don't have to be a victim or even look like a victim to
be raped. You just have to be in the
wrong place at the wrong time, or come to the attention of the wrong
person. Rapists are called predators for
a reason. You don’t have to be a woman
or girl to be raped or a man to be a rapist.
Anyone can be raped if the rapist puts the time and effort into it. It is about power and control after all, not
sex. So telling your daughter that
people out there want sex with her and some are willing to take away her choice
is not making her a victim. It is
letting her know it is possible. How can
we expect our children to protect themselves to the best of their ability if
they are unaware that this can happen, or think it only happens to bad people
so it will not happen to them?
Rape is a reality and a real possibility. We cannot put our heads in the sand and
pretend it does not happen, or will not happen.
Telling little boys and teens that is wrong to rape is no different than
telling them not to steal. They need to
know this, but that does not mean they will not choose to steal, or rape. People make bad choices all the time, and
some people feel they are entitled to whatever they want, including sex with
someone even if that person is not interested.
We need to make sure our children,
male and female, know that rape is real.
There is nothing wrong with doing everything we can to prepare our
children to live in the real world. We
need to make sure they know what they can do to try and protect
themselves. We don’t want them to be
hurt or die in a car accident, so we tell them to not drink and drive. So what is wrong with telling them not to
take drinks from people they don’t know, don’t get so drunk you pass out or are
unable to say no, or too drunk to care who they have sex with. What is wrong with telling them not to hang
out or walk down a dark alley if they don’t have to, walk in well light areas
and travel in groups whenever possible. It
is important to avoid problems and learn to protect themselves if a problem
does occur. There are things people can
do to deter a rapist, so it makes sense to tell our kids. Also we need to accept that some rapists are
not deterred no matter what someone does; they will find a way to do what they
want. As parents we have the
opportunity to give our children the knowledge and tools to have the best out
of life, or we can leave them unprepared and vulnerable to people who don’t
care that your child deserves the best out of life, not the worst.
We also need to state that the rapist is responsible not
the victim. Being raped does not make someone
a bad person, or valueless no matter what some people say. Also no one deserves to be raped.
