Tell Your Teen Girls Rape Happens

 

You don’t have to be a victim to be raped.  It is not true that only bad people are raped.  Being a good person does not keep anyone safe from predators.

A few years ago I wrote an article on Tips on talking to your teen girl about sex.  In the article I pointed out the need to tell young ladies, or teen girls that men and teen boys want to have sex with them.  Some will say and do whatever will get her to agree to have sex with them.  Some will use alcohol and drugs to lower her inhibitions to get her to be more willing to have sex with them.  There are also people who will simply rape them, with or without the use of drugs.  It is reality.  One person commented: “I think we should spend more time teaching our sons not to rape as opposed to teaching our daughters that they are victims.”

You don't have to be a victim or even look like a victim to be raped.  You just have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, or come to the attention of the wrong person.  Rapists are called predators for a reason.  You don’t have to be a woman or girl to be raped or a man to be a rapist.  Anyone can be raped if the rapist puts the time and effort into it.  It is about power and control after all, not sex.  So telling your daughter that people out there want sex with her and some are willing to take away her choice is not making her a victim.  It is letting her know it is possible.  How can we expect our children to protect themselves to the best of their ability if they are unaware that this can happen, or think it only happens to bad people so it will not happen to them?

Rape is a reality and a real possibility.  We cannot put our heads in the sand and pretend it does not happen, or will not happen.  Telling little boys and teens that is wrong to rape is no different than telling them not to steal.   They need to know this, but that does not mean they will not choose to steal, or rape.  People make bad choices all the time, and some people feel they are entitled to whatever they want, including sex with someone even if that person is not interested. 

We need to make sure our children, male and female, know that rape is real.  There is nothing wrong with doing everything we can to prepare our children to live in the real world.  We need to make sure they know what they can do to try and protect themselves.  We don’t want them to be hurt or die in a car accident, so we tell them to not drink and drive.  So what is wrong with telling them not to take drinks from people they don’t know, don’t get so drunk you pass out or are unable to say no, or too drunk to care who they have sex with.  What is wrong with telling them not to hang out or walk down a dark alley if they don’t have to, walk in well light areas and travel in groups whenever possible.  It is important to avoid problems and learn to protect themselves if a problem does occur.  There are things people can do to deter a rapist, so it makes sense to tell our kids.  Also we need to accept that some rapists are not deterred no matter what someone does; they will find a way to do what they want.   As parents we have the opportunity to give our children the knowledge and tools to have the best out of life, or we can leave them unprepared and vulnerable to people who don’t care that your child deserves the best out of life, not the worst.

We also need to state that the rapist is responsible not the victim.  Being raped does not make someone a bad person, or valueless no matter what some people say.  Also no one deserves to be raped. 

Child Abuse: When to become “Involved”

When do you report child abuse and to whom? It is not our job to determine if child abuse is taking place. It is our job to speak for the children who may not be able to speak for themselves or get anyone to hear them.

What about all the horror stories about families and lives being destroyed by false accusations? If you have concerns for a child’s safety or well being it is not a false accusation. Truth be known, more child abusers slip through the cracks then innocent people are found “harmful” to their children.

AS ADULTS WE NEED TO PROTECT KIDS NOT OTHER ADULTS.

If you think there is some type of abuse going on – proof or no proof – go with your gut on this one, call children’s aid and let them know how you feel and why. It is their job to determine if there is abuse or danger to the child. An abuser is going to hide what they are doing so you may only have hints and small incidences to go on. If something feels wrong it probably is.

If you see abuse – then you call the police and report it so there is a record of the abuse, time and date. The police will bring in Children’s Aid but you may want to call C.A. as well.

If a child is in severe danger – call the police. Bring attention to what is happening. Get as many people as possible to intervene for the safety of the child.

If you saw a baby or a child locked in a hot or freezing car you would do what you had to to rescue the child. Why should it be any different if someone is beating a child or abandoning their children for days on end, or “just” hurting them in ways that don’t leave marks?

We are the adults and it is time we placed innocent children before strangers, friends and even family.

There is nothing worse then looking into the eyes of a child you could have saved but did not. Unless it is knowing a child died because you did not want to get involved.

Define failure

Over the years I have come to realize that our fear of failure has more control over our actions then our drive to succeed. Most of us will go out of our way to not fail. Many will put more effort in avoiding what they perceive as failure then they put into trying to become successful. Our fears are a great motivator. I know that I will go to almost any lengths to avoid what I see as failure, which is also my greatest fear.

My idea of failure has changed over the years. First it was giving in, not surviving, letting my family destroy me, letting them win or being what they expected of me – their idea of a failure. I succeeded in not being a failure; I lived and believed in myself. Then it became a fear of loosing my job, being unable to provide for myself, still connected to my earlier idea of failure. Now my idea of failure is being homeless or not being able to provide for my children or keeping them safe. Again tying into my childhood, but not an unreasonable definition of failure. I am lucky in that I have not found myself in that type of situation, and hope I never do. I don’t know what I am capable of doing to avoid that situation; I do know I would do almost anything to not let that happen. Something like Katrina and its results of being homeless and without a way to provide for my children or keep them safe would be my greatest fear.

My Mother’s idea of failure was to be unable to keep a man, or to be with out a man in her life. My mother remained married to a man who was a drunk, drug user, rapist, and wife beater who tried to kill her, and me, many times over many years. One day I asked her why. She said, “If the marriage failed she was a failure”. She defined failure as being unable to keep a husband. It did not mater that we went without a lot of things, were poor, living in a trailer without water or electricity or that her husband beat her and life was bad as long as she had a man in her life she was good. It was strange to see someone accept all the pain and suffering for herself and child just to keep her husband because to loose him was to fail. And yet for me she was a failure because she did not protect nor provide for her child, whatever man that was in her life was always more important.

I know people who feel they are a failure if they don’t have the big paying job with a great title and the corner office and are willing to sacrifice everything and everyone to get there. Others think they have to be married and have kids before they are 30 or they have somehow failed. I don’t find these to be realistic definitions of success or failure, but then they are not mine. I know more people who define failure as not being there for their children, being unable to pay rent or put food on the table, or letting someone beat or control them. To me this is a realistic definition of failure.

As everyone has his or her own idea of success we also have our own concept of failure. This defines us as much as our concept of success. We are doing ok as long as this does not happen. Where is your line drawn for failure? What in your mind is the one thing that would make you a failure? Is it rational or realistic? I ask this because some people believe that everything is fine as long as this does not happen or they have not crossed a line but the reality is that they are in need of help, are on a downward spiral and should not be waiting until the worse happens before dealing with it.

People like my Mother who though what ever the man in her life was doing was ok as long as he stayed with her, even if he did not care for her, respect her or even want her alive anymore, or tried to kill her child. I see it in others all the time. This idea that as long as some pre-defined occurrence does not happen life is good no mater what is actually happening. It is like the drug addict who say’s as long as I am only popping pills and not using a needle I am in control, or the overweight person who is ok as long as they don’t reach 300 lbs, or the gambler who has not lost the house yet. . All Hell could be breaking loose in their lives but as long as “This” does not happen everything is OK.

Now most of us are not that bad, but we do need to understand what motivates us. Is it the desire to succeed or the fear of failing? I think that both can be a positive force in our lives if we have realistic drives or fears. What we see as success is not always what we see as failure. The idea of success is to make sure something happens, to not fail is to make sure something does not happen. The other questions we really need to be asking are, “If we do not succeed with our idea of success does that make us a failure?” “Or is it that if we can prevent what we perceive as failure from happening we are successful?” “Is success the same thing as not failing?” “Can we succeed in one area and fail in another?” “Are our definition of success the same as failure?” “Are our definitions of success or failure ours or what we have been taught to believe by others?” Most important, “Is our definition of success or failure realistic?”

New way to protect yourself when using Interac

I love knowing people in the know. I found out recently about a way to keep your bankcard and bank balance safer. We all know to hide our pin number as we punch it in but there are a lot of ways to get our banking card information. Criminals are using cameras in ceilings and fraudulent pin pads to get our card information and pin number. The newest thing is a fake Interac card reader and pin pad that records your card info and pin number as you put it into the system so shielding the pad as you enter your number does not help. The device is under the pin pad to record what buttons you push, so covering what you are doing is not going to make a difference, it still gets your pin #.

The best thing to do is start putting in a fake pin number first, and then when it comes back wrong put the right one in. This works because the fake card reader will approve your transaction with the wrong pin number. What the reader does is record all your information and then says approved. It does not talk to the central server to confirm your information, it just approves it. This way no record shows up on your bank account and no money leaves your bank account. They take a loss on the product or sale because they can make it up with what they can steal, or get from selling your information.

By not recording the transaction it makes it difficult for banks to find out where the card information was stolen. If all the cards taken on day A all went to store B then it is easy to figure out what happened. However if there is no record of anyone going to store A and using their card it makes it almost impossible to figure out where the cards are being stolen. Often the fake card reader is used at the end of the month because people who receive statements will not get one for almost a month, are they going to remember what store they visited on day A and how much they spent. Chances are they will not notice the missing transaction. Though most of us use the Internet to track our accounts these days, most of us only notice what goes out, not what should have gone out. We will assume there is a delay in processing and recording the payment and that it will show up eventually. Then we forget about it.

Think about all the places you use your card then think about how many other people use their cards there as well. One day’s worth of people using their cards can be quite valuable. The criminal does not need to do this everyday, and don’t. There have been cases where an employee was paid to put the fake Interact machine on for their shift and then that is it, the criminals move it to another store the next day, the employee has some extra money and your card information is going to the highest bidder. How many people go through a corner store, coffee shop or gas station in 6 to 8 hrs?

There is only so much you can do to keep your bank information safe. The criminals keep developing new ways to get it from you. I do recommend that everyone who can needs to start using internet banking and checks their bank account daily. This way you are more likely to notice if something is wrong right away and stop it before your bank account is empty.

Balancing a Child’s safety with the need for free exploration: parenting past and present.

Balancing a child’s safety with the need for free explorations is handled differently today then it was in the past. Why, because each generation has learned from the mistakes of the last generation and technology has changed. Sure we don’t let our kids play in the kitchen when we cook, we put gate up so they cannot get in. Why, because too many kids were burned and we learned to do things differently. We don’t let our kids bike with out a helmet, or at least the helmet is on when we can see them. Why, because we like our kids to not have brain injuries. We keep our kids wired to us by cell phones and some times GPS trackers. Why, don’t we trust our kids? Yes, about as much as our parents trusted us and I am sure if my Mom could have put a GPS on me back then she would have. This gives us some feeling of safety for our kids as kids can be and are picked up off the streets every day.

Does keeping your child out of the kitchen when you cook prevent them from learning hot don’t touch, or this is how you make dinner? No, they can still observe out of harms way and we can do other activities together that teach in a less harmful environment. Does making your child put their helmet on when biking hold them back, no. Is making them call you at specific times on their cell prevent them from exploring the world, no but it lets them know that you care about them. In some ways it even lets them explore more, we can find them or check in with them at any time, it just takes a call and we know what is going on. Or as much as they tell us, there is still trust issues out there.

I am not saying that our parents did not try to keep us safe, just that our perceptions of what needs to be done to keep our kids safe is different. I am sure our children will also have a different view on what is safe and what is not. Parents in the past said, “Don’t put any thing into the electric socket”, we say the same thing but now have little plug caps to put into them to help remove the temptation. Trust me if a kid is determined to stick some thing into the electric outlet they will find a way. But that is why we tell our kids not to and have better fuses to shut off the electricity if they do. We still tell our kids, don’t play by the pool, and don’t go in the pool if we are not with you. However, we now put fences up with motion detectors on the gate and special motion detectors on the pool to give us warning if someone is in the water.

We have better ways of keeping our children safe now; it does not hamper our children’s need for free exploration. We are not keeping our kids from exploring; we are just making sure it is in a safer environment. We don’t leave guns, or matches in places where kids can get to them and tell them don’t play with that, it is not a toy. We lock them up (the guns and matches, not the kids). Our kids can still learn that guns and matches are not a toy with out being put into a situation where they harm themselves or others. I like to think that we have come a long way from the time of having seat belts but not using them to having car seats and buster seats with special belting to keep them safe.

About 10 years ago my friends parents where babysitting their grandson. He had just started to go from crawling to trying to pull himself up. The Grandmother made her husband his tea like usual. She boiled the water, put the bag in and then put it on the end table by the couch. The little boy used that table to pull himself up. The table fell, the hot tea burned him so bad he had to go to the hospital for 3rd degree burn treatment and his chest will be scarred for life. As a result of this I always made sure I used a travel mug with a lid around my kids, that I took my cup with me when I left a room, or made sure it was in a high, secure place. My kids learned my cup was hot and that they were not to touch it. Did I stop putting my cup in a safe place, no, just for my own peace of mind. I learned from the mistakes of others, as I hope my children will learn from my mistakes.

How to keep your teen girl safe when she parties

How to best keep your teen girl safe when she parties, become the party home. Let your home become the one every one hangs out at. Sure you have a messy house and a large food bill but at least you know where your teen daughter is at and what she is doing. You can control what goes on in your home, make sure drugs and alcohol is not getting into the teens, and no place for them to have sex. The reality of this actually happening is slim to none as teenagers want to party at the place with the least supervision. So you have to deal with the reality that your teenager is going to party with her friends some where out of your control.

You need to teach your teen girl that she can party and have fun without drugs or alcohol, give her the real information about what drugs and alcohol do to a person. Control what you can and educate her on every thing else. We also must teach by example. What is the point of saying, “Do as I tell you not as I do”? It does no good to tell a teen girl not to do some thing she sees her parents and other role models doing.

Things parents need to think about to keep their teen girl safe when she parties. People need to understand that a party can be any activity outside your supervision. It can be at a school party, a birthday party, friends home, at underage dance clubs, or your teen girl can get fake ID and get into actual bars and clubs. There are too many things to worry about these days. If we let our teen girls party we need to make sure they understand what is ok, not ok and the consequences of her and others actions. What are we the parents most concerned with? Sex, Drugs and alcohol for the most part.

Let us deal with each of these: First Sex.

As parents we need to have the sex talk with our children, both boys and girls as early as possible. This way they will hopefully have a good idea of what sex is, what is ok and not ok, and the consequences like pregnancy, Aids and other STD’s. We cannot stop our teens from wanting sex, or even having sex. All we can do is try to make sure they make the best possible informed decisions.

We also need to build our teen girls self-esteem so they don’t need to turn to teen boys and men to feel better about them selves. Girls with low self-esteem often turn to sex to become popular and mistake the attention they are getting for love or as giving them value. Others with low self-esteem will let people treat them badly, even selling themselves to others for sex because they don’t think they are worth more or deserve better. We as parents need to do what we can to stop this from happening. We must let them know they are valued and loved by us, just the way they are. Not an easy thing to do.

What we need to make sure our teen daughters understand is that teen boys and even grown men want to have sex with them. Yes even when a teen girl is only 13 guys are trying to get into their pants; they don’t just want to be fiends. For the most part teen boys and men will tell her what ever she wants to hear to try and have sex with her. Others may go a more direct rout, using drugs and alcohol to get rid of her inhibitions, and make it easer for them to convince her to have sex. Others will use alcohol, and drugs to cause her to be unable to fight them off as they rape her. If you are passed out it is kind of hard to say “NO”. Others will just rape, with or with out the use of drugs and alcohol. Our daughters need to know this, not some sanitized version of life. They must understand that this can happen to them, it does not just happen to other people.

Second: Drugs

All children, and teens, must understand the difference between drugs and medicine. Medicine is some thing a Dr. prescribes to make a specific medical problem better. Drugs are sold or given by people who want them to get high, become addicted, and give them money to get more drugs. Sure the idea is that drugs make you feel better, have better sex, or just remove you from problems. The reality is that drugs make you stupid, addicted and change who you are.

So we make sure our kids and teens know not to do drugs. That it is not a cool or fun thing to do, even if other people around you are doing it. Doing random drug tests at home help them say NO. It makes it easer for them to give a reason for not doing the drugs, a way out from peer pressure. It is much easer for a teen to say, “I can’t do that or be in the room when you do it because my parents drug test me when I get home” then to say “No I don’t want to do that”. For the most part unless a teen girl is looking for drugs to escape their lives they appreciate having a way out from taking them.

The real problem here is that drug dealers are marketing and targeting preteens and teens. Our kids and teens don’t even know that they are taking a drug. There were some sour candies that the dealer coated with a drug and they looked the same as the regular sour candies. Others have made special suckers; the drug was mixed in with the sucker ingredients when they were being made. It looks like a sucker, why would any one think it was not one. Then they don’t sell drugs to the kids and teens, but they sell a candy that is special, makes you feel better, or how ever they want to market it. The next thing you know the kids and teens are addicted to a drug they did not even know they were taking. Drug testing at home can catch this and help find where the drug is coming from.

Third: Alcohol

This one is the hard one. It is legal and teen girls see their parents drinking. If it is ok for the parent to drink alcohol why can’t they? It is one of those do as I tell you not as I do type situations, and that never works. A lot of people do not see there is any harm in drinking even when it is underage drinking. Telling teen girls that drinking puts them at risk can help keep them from drinking, but only if they understand the hard facts about it. Not some lame, “Don’t drink its bad for you.” Drinking impairs decision-making so you have to stop them from having the first drink.

Teen girls need to understand that it puts them at risk to be raped as well as other things. Alcohol is responsible for most teen deaths. Death caused by drunk driving is the one most people think of. However alcohol poisoning is right up there as well as non-vehicle related accidents. When some one is drunk or stoned things that would normally be obviously dangerous is not seen that way. This would explain many injuries and deaths like trying to race across a train track and beat the train, or jumping off a cliff into water to go swimming.

How to keep your teen girl from drinking or doing drugs? There are home tests that you can use to tell if she has been drinking or doing drugs. It makes it easer for her to say; “no I get tested when I get home”. If she is old enough to drive get her to always be the designated driver. The best thing to do is to be brutal in showing the consequences. Not just the films about drinking, or showing the cars that were in drinking related accidents. Show them the people on the street, homeless, see if you can show some one detoxing from alcohol or drugs. Have them talk to some one whose friend or family member died from alcohol or drugs. Make her watch how people act when drunk. If she does come home drunk film her. Then show her what she is actually like when drunk.

You would never endanger your kids but it is ok to put yourself at risk

Adults expect children to do things to keep them safe, but don’t do those same things themselves. Who pays the price? There is this commercial done by the Canadian Red Cross that had me crying and trying to not throw up. It was that hard to watch, even now I feel ill thinking about it. Why, because it showed the truth. It shows this scene with two little kids in a rowboat, with life jackets on. The kids are sitting together holding each other. They have these unbelievable looks on their faces. There is a voice talking about how you would never endanger your children by letting them go out in a boat with out a life jacket on. Then it starts pulling out and you can see that there is no one in the boat with the kids. The voice then starts talking about how if you make your kids put them on why don’t you. I don’t remember the exact words because this horror started to fill me as I started to understand what was going on. The last scene you see is of two little defenceless children to small to row a boat or know what to do sitting in a boat in the middle of a large area of water. The scene ends just as you start to see their father floating face down just out of reach of the boat. What makes me sad is that even after seeing this commercial there are going to be people going out without their life jackets on and their kids get to see them die.

So you would never endanger your children but for some reason people think that they don’t have to keep themselves safe. You are not willing to do what you demand your children to do. I see it all the time. Parents with no life jackets on, or worse some times not on the little ones: even though it is against the law not to have them on. Then you see the same adults drinking as they relax out on the boat. That is always a bad mix. There are deaths related to drinking and boating every year, usually because the person did not put on their life jacket. There are always things we tell our kids not to do or to do to keep safe that adults just don’t seem to do. Bike helmets, why don’t people put them on? Are our heads harder then our children’s? I know that the watermelon demonstration is enough for me to put a helmet on and expect my kids to have theirs on. Seat belts, well it is the law but some people still don’t put them on. We usually find out when they are dead or in the hospital. It is ok to keep your kids safe, but at the same time to put yourself at risk so your not there for your kids. I just don’t understand this. I will not put myself at risk, I want to be a part of my kids lives not a memory.

The influence of alcohol on teen life

Alcohol can be found just about any place. It is in the corner store, our homes, in restaurants, on TV and in the movies. Drinking for the most part is shown as a social activity, something you do to have fun and fit in. There are scenes of underage drinking in a large number of movies and some TV shows. Advertisers tie alcohol with looking good, popularity and sexuality. The first alcoholic drink is also seen as right of passage, going from childhood to adulthood. We even give our kids non-alcoholic versions of our drinks. With all this positive imagery of alcohol, what is the influence of alcohol on teen life?

Drinking alcohol is perceived to be a positive non-harmful social part of being an adult. All teens want to be seen as adults, drinking is doing something reserved for adults, so by drinking you are doing something an adult would do. It is also an easy way to rebel, you don’t think I am an adult so I am going to drink to show you how much of an adult I am. This lets them do some thing that is against the rules but at the same time an adult thing to do. Teenagers will often boast about how much they drank showing how much of an adult they are. Other teens turn to alcohol to escape the reality of their lives, be it pain or boredom. Once a teenager has a drink it is easer to take the next one. They get a quick buzz and it feels good, they think they are having the best time ever. Drinking becomes associated with having fun, and soon drinking becomes the fun.

Being able to provide alcohol to friends and at parties can improve a teens social standing, they are seen as being more mature and are popular because they have the alcohol. People say that drinking will relax you, loosen you up, and let you have more fun. So a shy teenager will drink to feel more sociable, a teenager with low self-esteem will drink to feel more popular or to just fit in and others will drink just because everyone else is. Also it is not a lot of fun being sober around a bunch of drunks, it is easer to have fun with them when you are drunk to. Yes all teenagers understand that there is a legal age that they can go to bars and drink alcohol. At the same time though they see themselves as adults and don’t understand why they cannot drink alcohol legally. It becomes a challenge or a game to beat the system, to get fake ID and get into bars or clubs, or buy alcohol at the corner store. If you can get away with it then you are proving how much of an adult you are. Your actual age is not that important, what you can get away with is.

Drinking alcohol is a status symbol when you are a teenager. Though fortunately the idea of drinking responsible is also reaching teenagers. It is not cool to drink and drive. Unfortunately drinking competitions are still popular, the more you can drink the better. In some cases the faster you can chug a beer is what is seen as being the best. This leads to drinking until you pass out and in some cases get alcohol poisoning. It is easy to see how teenagers can quickly become alcoholics. Alcohol is seen as positive, is easy to get, does not cost too much and gives you a quick buzz. It is a quick fix for any social problems. You did not get the girl, have a drink and it will not matter anymore, or the drink will give you courage to ask another girl out. You don’t dance very well, have a drink and you will not care what you look like on the dance floor. Having a hard time with school or work, drink and forget. It is what some adults do, so it must be ok. Besides drinking is fun and sociable.

Once a teenager becomes an alcoholic things change. They tend to drink all the time, and as great as they think they are when they are drunk the truth is they are not that great to be around when every one else is sober. They start loosing their friends, and tend to drift to other teenagers using alcohol or drugs. Teenage drunks have the same problems as adult drunks. They drink lots, loose friends, drop grades, loose jobs and turn to alcohol or drugs to feel better. It just gets worse and worse until something changes, ether things get so bad someone steps in or they seek help themselves.

There is a lot of pressure on teenagers to drink. Being able to say, “No I cannot drink or do any drugs, my parents randomly test me for drugs and alcohol” takes all the pressure off any teenager. Some times that is all it takes, a parent taking the option away until they feel the teenager is able to make their own informed decisions and are able to deal with alcohol responsibly. Like when they reached the legal age to drink.

Why get a Credit report for your child?

I was watching the Montel show about identity theft and learned something new today. Sure I used to laugh when my husband would save our mail and shred it, I don’t now. I never thought about my credit or getting a credit report at all, let alone every 6 months. Check my bank account and credit card balance at least once a day, why would I do that, I knew what I spent. Cut the pin code off of an old credit card and dispose of it at a latter date, what cutting the card in half was not enough? My husband is having the last laugh now, because what he has always done is what we need to do now to keep our identity and credit for ourselves.

Over the years I have learned how to protect myself from fraud and identity theft. Why because I was victim of fraud and did not know for three years. I ended up having to declare bankruptcy after spending over five years trying to get my money back and clear up debts that were not even mine. I will have to spend years rebuilding my credit because I trusted the wrong person. My ability to give my children what they need has been limited by someone’s greed. I was lucky that the person only took my money, stock from my business and my trust. At this point in time I believe my identity is my own, but that may change as I rebuild my credit. I don’t know how much of my information he took as he had access to everything. It may be just a matter of time before I suddenly have credit cards and bank loans I never took out. I don’t know if he sold my information to others or not. It is just a matter of keeping an eye on things and hoping that if nothing has been used in the last seven years nothing will.

So I do everything I can to make sure that I don’t get taken again. However, I never thought to get a credit report for my kids. Today I learned that if someone has a SIN # they are at risk. Even a two year-old can have a credit card issued or a bank loan. There are quite a few cases where parents used their kid’s information to get credit cards and loans and years latter the kids had to deal with the consequence. I would never do that and I never thought about someone else using my children’s information to get credit. It took me a bit to rap my head around the idea of someone destroying a child’s credit, their ability to get a loan to go to collage, or get their first car, or their first apartment. That is just evil, but then they don’t care about anyone but themselves. We as adults need to protect our children and grandchildren as well as ourselves.

So what can you do to protect your children? Get a credit report for your children and yourself every 6 months. Your childs credit report should be that there is nothing to report. If you can join something like lifelock, an identity and fraud protection company. I only know about that one from their ads, I am sure there are other companies out there. See if they have a plan for children or a family rate. Protect your children’s information as you do your own. Shred your mail, have a mailbox with a lock and do not give information out. Treat information as a valuable resource that can be used against you, protect it or destroy it before someone uses it. We want to protect our kids from everything we can and now we just have to add this to the list.

PS: I have just been informed of Identity Theft Shield provided by Pre-Paid Legal Services Inc. for Canadians. Information about this can be found at www.identity-shield.ca.