Monday, April 4, 2011
Finding the perfect birthday gift for your boyfriend or girlfriend
I have written a couple of blogs on great birthday gift ideas for your boyfriend and girlfriend. I have had some positive and negative feedback. From the feedback I have the impression that some people just don’t get it. Finding the perfect or greatest birthday gift is not easy; it involves work but more importantly an investment of time and energy learning about your boyfriend or girlfriend. I get asked all the time; what should I give my boyfriend/girlfriend for their birthday. I will keep creating gift idea lists because it’s fun and new things come out every day. People need to understand that lists are just ideas, suggestions and a way to get them to think out of the box and come up with their own gift ideas.
It comes down to communication. Talk to each other about your likes, loves, hates, dreams and anything else that comes up. The more you know about each other the easier it is to give things to each other. Lists of gift ideas don’t mean a thing if you don’t know the person you are giving the gift to. That is why I always say in the beginning of a relationship keep the gifts simple and somewhat generic but still try to take the time to learn what your boyfriend or girlfriend would like. After that finding the right gift should be easy, finding the right gift within your budget can be the hard part.
If you know the person you are buying for it should not be that hard to get an idea of what that person would like. With my husband it is easy to figure out what to give him even after 10 years. We talk to each other, and I don’t try to give him what I think he would like, but what he actually wants. I know what movies he likes, the books he wants and all his weaknesses and I take advantage of that knowledge. The problem is keeping him from buying it before I can give it to him. He usually finds out his gift early because I am trying to stop him from buying something or I keep telling him to wait a few weeks. He figures it out quickly. However there have been more times when I had to return something and come up with a new gift idea because he bought what I was going to give him.
This year I got him something unexpected that he loves. Speakers for his computer that light up and change with the music. He loves listening to music when he works or relaxes. The speakers were better quality than his old ones and he loved the look of them. He put them on his computer right away. I had to think out of the box on this one. Normally I don’t mess with his computer he builds them for fun and always knows what he wants. So I knew he would never expect me to buy him computer speakers. It was great seeing the look on his face when he opened the box.
My husband on the other hand has a hard time figuring out gifts for me, even when I tell him what I want. For years he would give me what he thought I should want not what I told him I wanted. What I wanted never seemed romantic enough to him. So I ended up with romantic gifts that were things he wanted me to have, not things I wanted. It took a long time for him to finally figure out that I was much happier with the so called unromantic gifts. To me they were much more romantic because he took the time to really hear me and understand me, and gave me what I wanted.
This year one of my gifts (from my kids but really my husband) was a bunch of fun socks. I love being gifted unusual, funny and strange socks, anything but plain black or white boring socks. It is a simple gift, but I know my husband and kids have a great time trying to find ones I will like. I like wearing them and remembering when I got them, or having my kids excited because I am wearing the socks they picked out. It may not be a big gift, or a romantic gift but I think they are great.
I like to cook so for the last couple of years my husband has been giving me “cooking stuff” that I will not buy myself. A really nice restaurant quality wok, better quality pots, pans, cookie sheets, cheesecake pans and even a perogie maker. Whatever new cooking fad I am in he gives me what I need to do it.
My husband knows how much I love my coffee so one year I was given an individual cup coffee makes, a coffee grinder that does one cups worth at a time, and a wonderful bag of coffee beans. He likes to surprise me with different types and flavours of coffee beans to try. The man simply knows me, and knows what I like and has learned to give me that.
The point is to learn about your loved one and understand what is important to them and run with it. Who cares if it makes sense to anyone else, or does not seem romantic? All that matters is that it makes your boyfriend or girlfriend happy.
However, there are some people that are impossible to buy for and gift idea lists can be a great help with them, because at least you tried and did not just go out and buy any old thing. I have people in my family like that. It does not matter what you give them it is never the right thing, not expensive enough or not what they really wanted (not that they told anyone what they wanted). With people like that you just try and find what makes you happy to give them because when it comes right down to it they are never going to be happy with what you give them so you might as well be.