Thursday, November 6, 2008

Appreciating your child lets you value them

Recently I have started trying everyday to find something to appreciate about my children. Why, because it is a change in perception. I understand that if I appreciate something I value it. I am not saying that I don’t love or value my children but that by changing my view of things it changes my attitude as well. On a bad day I try to appreciate that my kids want to hug me and do things with me instead of seeing it as, “Why wont they leave me alone for five minuets.”

I appreciate the kindness and protectiveness my son has for everyone. He wants to be the hero, the one who keeps people safe from monsters. He takes on more responsibilities then a 5 year old ever should. He was telling me that if he defeated the monsters he would have money and he would give it to me and make things better. What five year old comes out with that? I value the person he is and is becoming. It is a lot easer to see it now that I am looking and finding things to appreciate about him. (picture is not of us, I don't like getting my pictures taken.)

My daughter is a little harder, but she is only three and going through what I hope is just a difficult phase. Though I have been told it never ends, they will always be rebellious and struggling to find or get their own way. However even on her worse days (and mine) I can still find something to appreciate. She love books and loves it even more when I read to her. She has a great smile and sometimes is willing to share with others spontaneously. There is a lot to appreciate in her and her actions if you take the time to look for it between the stubbornness and tantrums. She gets the stubbornness honestly so we are learning to live with it, lol.

Instead of concentrating on what went wrong or all the “bad” things the kids did or said, i.e. the negative things, I am looking past that to the kernels of “good” and fun in my kids. Every night I have started asking my son how much “good” is in him and he always tells me to guess. I start off holding my fingers together as if it is just a pinch. He says “no” and I move my hands apart a little. We keep doing this until I have my arms as outstretched as I can, and then he tells me it is even more then that. I have seen a huge change in him; it makes him feel good that I think he is that good. And he is a great kid when you take the time to look.

It goes back to that old saying “You will always find what you are looking for.” So if you are only looking for the negative, you will always find negative things. If you are looking for positive things you will find them too. It is just a matter of what you want to concentrate on. Looking for things to appreciate in my kids everyday is not always easy but it is worth it for my kids, our relationships and myself. I may not always appreciate what my children are doing, but I can always find something to appreciate in them.


  1. Yes, having a kids is not only to be responsible but also to guide them to be a good and responsible adults ..

    I haven't had any children yet but I do have pets .. Anyway, nice blog you have here.

  2. I agree with you 100%. Raise them to be good adults and they will thank you as adults maybe not as children.

  3. Nice post here, as a soon-to-be single Mom, I always appreciate Mommies sharing their thoughts and wisdom about parenting. I'm looking forward to reading more and more of your posts. I would also appreciate if we can ex-link. I'll definitely put you on my baby's site's Mommy-Baby links. Keep posting!