Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Lost baby shower

When my son was born I had the worst baby shower in the world. It all started because we lived in a small one-bed room, so we decided we could not have the shower there. Then we realised that a lot of the people we were going to invite lived at least an hour away so most people would have to be making a big trip for this. There was a camping event that was held once a year, we were all going to it a few weeks after my son was due to be born so to make things easer on every one we decided to have the baby shower at the camping event. So I started to get things ready for the baby shower, but then one of my “friends” said I should not be organizing my own baby shower and said she would do it, as we did not have family to organize it.

Great, that made things so much easer. We still had to bring the large sunshade and set up but my friend was going to handle the baby shower invitations, and get some snack food ready (a veggie tray, fruit tray and some chips and such, some drinks – nothing big) and we gave her a $100.00 to help pay for it all. I was under the impression that she was going to get some invitations for a baby shower and send them out to my friends with the time and place with an RSVP to her. That way every one would know about the baby shower and she would know how many people were coming so she knew how much food and drink was needed. Now every time I checked with her she said that every thing was under control and was going great, lots of people were coming.

Well the day of the baby shower came. We set up the dinning fly tent, got it all ready for the baby shower, seats, cushions, tables every thing. The time for the shower came and went – my friend had not shown up with the food or any thing, and no one showed up for the shower. A few hours later my “friend” showed up with a bag of party mix, threw it into the tent and said here is your shower, enjoy. That was it. Some baby shower. I cried thinking that no one cared and that all these people did not even have the common courtesy to let me know they could or would not be going to the shower. It was very hard to deal with and it hurt.

It turns out that she did not even buy some cheap baby shower invitations or any thing, she never contacted any one. She did not want to call any one because it would be a long distance charge so she never called any one, she did not have the address (she could have gotten it from me, though she knew the same people I did) so she did not send any thing. All she did was mention it to people when she saw them, so of course all the people who lived far away, or did not hang out with my “friend” did not know about it. Also the few people who did know about it only knew that it was on the Saturday, but not when or where. The big part was that the people she did tell about it she told them that I did not want any thing, that I did not want it to be a big deal, and made it sound like I would rather not have the shower. I did not want people to spend a lot of money but I wanted people to come and make a fuss over my son. Lets just say we are not friends any more. It turns out she did it on purpose for some imaginary slight. It was not like we could organize it again, it was going to be a year before every one was going to be getting together again. We never did know why she did this, all I know is it hurt me a lot, enough that I did not even try to have a baby shower when my daughter was born.

If you are having a baby shower, make sure you can trust the person organizing it or at least make sure the shower invitations get mailed. I hope no one else ever goes threw a baby shower like mine, I will always feel like I lost out on something special, important. I missed out on some thing that would have been a lot of fun. It does not make a difference now, but it did hurt then.

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