It is funny how family can some times get to you. I have not had any thing to do with my Mother for the last year or so. Out of the blue she had sent me an email saying she was no longer my Mother nor my kids Grandmother and that I was not to contact her again. So I have not, she lives far away so it is not that hard. As it was I was the one always calling her so the kids could talk to her, and I emailed pictures all the time. She did not back up the pictures I sent, and when her computer crashed she asked me not to send her the old pictures. I even put them on a disk and sent them to her so she had them and could get them printed. She told me she never printed a picture, the only “pictures” of my kids are the ones I had printed and mailed to her. On top of that she would complain when I sent her pictures, it took to much time to download as she was on dial up. I got the impression pictures of my kids were not that important to her and from that I got the impression that my kids were not that important to her. No real big surprise when I got the email from my Mom cutting off contact.
My Grandmother has contacted me a few times telling me I am being cruel by not calling her (my Mom) and letting the kids talk to her, or sending her pictures of the kids any more. What gets me is that my Grandmother keeps telling me that my Mother would never do any thing to hurt my kids despite the facts. I sent my Grandmother the email my mom had sent me telling me she was not my Mother any more. Why because I thought she was depressed or some thing and needed some help. My Grandmother would not read it and has changed the subject every time I say, “but she is the one who cut the contact”. Some how in every ones mind I am doing some thing wrong, that she would never do any thing to hurt my kids, or in the same breath they tell me she was going threw a hard time at that time and said things she did not mean. I am being held responsible for my Mothers actions and this has destroyed any relationships I had with my family.
Please note that my Mother has not tried to contact me, and has never said she was sorry about cutting us out of her life or well any thing to us, so why am I being held responsible for her actions? Why do I have to be the bigger person, and contact her? I do not want to. She was willing to hurt my kids once by not being their Grandmother any more, she would do it again. It has not been an easy relationship between us to start off with but I had hopped she would have been a good Grandmother. I was willing to deal with her so my kids had a Grandmother. I don’t care who you are, once you do some thing to hurt my kids you don’t get the chance to do it again. No matter how hard they try I will not feel guilty over this, nor will I take on the responsibility for my Mothers actions. She made this choice, now she must live with the consequences. I just wish my kids did not have to pay for her choices as well. They are the ones that lost out in this whole head game my mother is playing.